Have you pre-ordered your copy of Modern Warfare 2? Well according to this weeks pre-order charts, so have over 2.4 million Americans (no actual pre-order figures are available from other countries because they are all fuckin’ terrorists pigs). Anyhoo, some nub has broken down the pre-orders into Xbox 360 and PS3 and “surprise” only a little over 650,000 of ’em are for the PS3! So at about this time you are either asking yourself why the fuck do I care or if you are anything like me you have been fapping off to a gore thread on chan for the past 30 seconds. The point is, gamers, the internets are all saying that this proves that Sony fanboys know their console is crap and that MW2 will suck on the (cough, cough) gay station. Well here’s a fist up the arse to bring some of you fuckwits back to reality.
The Offensive Gamer presents… PS3 Gamers top 5 reasons why they didn’t bother pre-ordering MW2!
5) Only a mindless fucking muppet would give some cock smoker $100 of their hard-earned cash six months before a game came out.
4) “I don’t have a family, mortgage, or any responsibility cause I’m a teenager whos parents can pre-order my Xbox 360 copy!” Yep – the PS3 isn’t a console designed for kids.
3) Infinity Ward – Lets face it, they are no Dice or Naughty Dog. Although I have to concede the PS3 version of COD4 was (in the TOG’s opinion), brilliant, these fags don’t deserve my hard-earned cash.
2) UNCHARTED 2, probably the best gaming experience of this generation. (Didn’t play it? You better take a good hard look at yourself and stop jacking off to animal porn).
And the number one reason… (drum roll please)
1) You will be able to go into any fucking store on release day and pick up a copy of MW2, you stupid fuckwit!
That’s right folks, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you people – pre-orders are bullshit. Always have been, always will be. I have never in all my years of gaming not been able to buy a game on its release day because it was sold out. “But TOG – what about the gun code or the pink dildo that I get with the game if I pre-order?” Poppy-fucking-cock! You think a gun unlock is gunna save you from skilled gamers in the first week of release? Reckon that gold name tag is gunna make you a star in the lobbies? I spit on your fucking face and pour vinegar down your ring hole. You fucking idiot, you have just been shafted up the arse and must be seeing stars cause all that does is make you a fucking target for cunts like me.
So, still confused about why PS3 gamers have hardly pre-ordered?